Love & non-negociables of an evolved woman :)

Love Relationship Non-negociables.

Many many many years ago,

so long ago that I can’t still remember,

my idea of showing up in a relationship was work hard,

and be the last to leave the sinking ship.


I must admit that my unconscious relationship behaviours of the past also included leaving the ship before it’s sinking without telling a soul…..,

and making being on the ship so impossible for the other that they decided to dock it so we both could get off. 

This kinda saved me the trouble of being the one visibly sinking the ship. 

(Well, not really, cause a sinking ship is a sinking ship and nobody’s fault lol.)

Many years later I realize all this was creatively constructed by me to exist in and exit relationships that were not complementary.

You have chemistry, you get together and try to make it work lol.

Some succeed, many don’t.

But bottom line is – what was not brought together by Universe, well……….

Match made in heaven relationship kinda has a different outcome and trajectory from relationship resulting from ‘hooking up’ lol.

I know I know, you probably have one friend whose relationship is fantastic and came forth from a hook-up. 

I had one two. 

And from all the couples I have known over the years they are the only ones. 

Perhaps match made in heaven after all?

Since, the only rule is that there are no rules, when it comes to following your heart.

I must unwillingly perhaps admit that I haven’t been very fortunate and prosperous in the love relationship department in the past few years.

There were candidates that were kinda ‘I guess there’s nothing wrong with them’ (that’s the mental noise of the ego that is unthreatened by ‘nothing wrong with them partners’.)

I know many many many many men I can say the same about, but that doesn’t mean I’d want to share my life with them.

And so I didn’t.

Share my life, my time, my heart, my soul with them.

Because it was clear from the very beginning to me.


It’s been very amusing as well.

You see, once I decided to stop working hard at the relationship and once I realized what kind of relationship I really truly want…….,

(I’ve actually known it all along, let’s say I finally admitted to myself and gave myself permission to actually commit to that and nothing less than that……,)


all became very easy.


I became unavailable for ‘let’s see’.

No time no energy no desire for that.

I became unavailable for half-in.

No time no energy no desire for that.

I became unavailable for half-present, and of course absent as well.

No time no energy no desire for that.

I became unavailable for co-dependency.

No time no energy no desire for that.

I became unavailable for carrying.

No time no energy no desire for that.

God, dear dear dear dear God, 

what on earth does this leave me with?

With a man who does not exist, lol, according to many.


I happen to know, thank God, quite a few men who qualify, and who are just not a match made in heaven for me, 

but nevertheless I know that these men are actually alive, lol, and not some fantasy beings from another universe.


Men who do show up.

Men who do honour and feel what’s in their heart.

Men who are fully present.

Men who give.

Men who love with all their hearts without holding back.

Men who don’t leave the ship once the party is over and it’s time to do the dishes.

Men who care.

Men who do something purposeful with their lives.

If you are reading this and you are a man,

and this kind of man sounds too amazing to you, 

and you go: man, I can’t check not even one of these…….

It’s ok.

“We all start from square one.”


I remember a very amazing and compassionate advanced dancer saying this to me when he asked me for a dance and I felt embarrased for being a beginner.

Where there is a heart there is a way.

And we all start from zero.

Only, when you start with an open heart,

you start with the whole Universe,

and that is worth much more than zero.

Don’t you agree?

I started with square one too,

but I don’t mind.

What most matters to me is that I have what I really want………,

true love,

and nothing less than that.


Lots of Love,



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